The past week turned out to be the most tough/challenging one since I started my treatment at SWI. The previous week Gary told me that I was good to go home and and that during the last week he would give me a good cleanup. I thought I would have a wonderful week, and I even thought I could take my time to enjoy the beautiful sunshine of Florida. However, I felt worse and worse daily, and by Thursday I was struck by depression. I could not figure out what had happened, but I blamed it on cleaning chemicals used to clean the apartment I just moved into. So I desperately moved away from the “nice looking” apartment and moved in to the Residency Inn near the clinic. Probably because I had a big bowel movement on Thursday night and I took 2mg of Xanax to try to go to sleep (I normally only took 0.5 mg),I slept relative well on Thursday night so I had a decent Friday. I felt some stomach cramp in the morning and I rushed to do a colonic hoping to get rid of the cramp, but that did not happen. However, since I looked better on Friday, even Gary would agree that it was the chemical in the apartment that got me into trouble.
Then I expected Saturday would be a good day as now I am in a “mold free hotel” room (hotel rooms can never be chemical free because they use chemicals to do cleaning). However, on Friday night even 2mg of Xanax was insufficient to give me even a few hours of sleep, and I woke up at 4:00 am with the worst depression one can imagine. I did not know what had happened to me, and once again I suspected it was chemicals in the hotel room. Now I did not know where to turn. I was so confused I could not drive. Within walking distance I visited Karen and Fred, a wonderful Christian couple I met at SWI. They offered me and my mom to stay at their apartment. However, it had an obvious smell from the new paint and the new carpet. I was very grateful for their kindness, but I could not take the offer.
It seemed that I was so out of options, but then I called another wonderful Christian lady, Marcy. Marcy came right away to my hotel room, and she said she had a very sensitive nose, so if there was anything wrong, she would know. She came and she did not find anything wrong with the hotel studio room. She was so kind that she even gave me an essential oil massage aiming to relax me. But I was in such poor shape that Marcy suggested I should call the SWI on-call nurse. So I did. Amy (the on-call) nurse talked to me and suggested that I have too many toxins in my body, especially in my brain right now. She told me to take 10 glutathione pills right away. Then she said: I saw Dr. Sponaugle lift some women who were in a black-hole depression by giving them an eIstradiol patch, and their depression was lifted within hours. She ordered some estradiol over the phone for quick pick up. I had translated a scientific paper by Dr. Spongle, and I understood that when estradiol gets too low, serotonin can not be produced, and one can be very anxious. I had doubts about the estradiol patch because my estradiol goes up and down, and it could be very high already. After all, estradiol would excite my brain. But Marcy believed that I should trust Amy’s judgement and at least try it. So Marcy drove me around town to find a 24 hour pharmacy that had estradiol patches. What an effort! I put the patch on my arm at about 7:30 pm. By 9:00 pm I decided to go to bed. At about 10:00 pm, I started to have panic attacks and that scared me to death. Xanax did not calm me down. I was very worried and talked in a very negative way to my Mom. Once again, my mother comforted me like she has done endlessness times before. She had already missed a night of sleep on Thursday night. By midnight, I started to vomit and I had a big bowel movement. The greenish things made it clear that toxins were being released. After that happened I still felt very nauseated, but I did not vomit much because I had not eaten much the whole day. After 30 minutes back and forth to the toilet and vomiting a little, I started to clam down. Before 1:00 am, I took 0.5mg of Xanax, and I woke up at 5:15 am. No depression at all!
My conclusion for now as to what happened to me is this: When antibiotics were used to kill the bacteria in my body, especially in my brain, my gut was under brutal attack too. I used the normal amount of probiotics, but that was not enough. As a result my gut was further comprised after the kill, and also because my immune system is now stronger, it automatically kills. As a result, more toxins built up in my system, and my gut could not sustain, and GABA production further declined. Depression kicked in, and my brain got over electrified. Gary gave me a lot of glutathoine, but my gut could not function properly to get rid of the toxins through normal bowel movements. Even a colonic did not help on Friday because the toxins were not all in the lower part of the colon. Therefore I was in such a toxic state that I sunk into a suicidal depression Saturday. Life did not mean anything to me at all at that moment. Luckily, with more glutathione and an estradiol patch, and in addition I added more probiotics, I was able to get a big release of these toxins through a few bowel movements. My depression was lifted after just a few hours of sleep. This morning I continued to release more through bowel movements. I still have more to come, but at least now my brain can function.
I have been responding very well to the treatment protocol and this is the biggest lesson I have learned. Now I can say it is good to have the experience. But if I had known it earlier, I would for sure take more probiotics during the killing phase and take more rest. I was very busy with my translation business as I took that as a way to kill my time and my pain. Not a very smart choice. A human body can only take so much, and we have to respect it.
Since all my tests look decent, especially my Fry laboratory test shows my bioflim is very limited, and my red blood cell is in good shape, I really think I should go home very soon once I feel more stable.
Life is a journey, especially when you try to figure out your own health issues. I still hope I found the right path. With God’s mercy and guidance, I am able to keep going.